ANCHORMEN Ep43 W Craig M Pt2

Thie message is part two  of continuing conversation we had with Craig Misewicz about how our lives changed when we heard the Grace message. 

WHAT has changed?

HOW has it changed?

WHY do you think it changed?

HOW has this change affected your day to day Life?

These are all things we touch on and mostly discuss our opinions on the uptick in athletes and the media not editing them giving God praises. 

If you did not get to hear part one of this message, I'd encourage you to check out our website and you can have access to last week's podcast and all previous Anchormen Anchored by Grace Podcasts. Thank you again for listening.  

Reach out to the Anchormen by emailing us at anchoredbygrace@duck.com.

Listen or share our website to help spread the good news of being Anchored by Grace

https://anchormenanchoredbygrace.buzzsprout.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:09

In our walk with God, we often experience moments when our faith is tested. It's in these times that we truly discover what it means to be anchored in faith. Our faith is like a sturdy ship anchored in the harbor. It keeps us grounded when the waves of life toss us around. When we lean on God in his word, we find the strength to persevere and trust in his plans. The anchormen remind us weekly that Jesus is our anchor, providing stability and insurance in the midst of uncertainty. Together, let's dive deeper into the powerful words that encourage us to hold fast to the faith of Jesus alone and not rely on our good words to give us righteousness. And with that introduction, we're going to get right into part two of our conversation with Craig Mezowitz from Anchorman Anchored by Grace.

SPEAKER_01 1:41

Instead of it being, oh, come to Grace Church, come to the depot. One of the differences between Anchormen and Church, one of the many, is in church you hear from one voice and you don't get any perspective or applied perspective from any other people that you're surrounded by. So you might recognize a few faces and say hello on the way in. You might kind of talk to a couple people on the way out, but there's no exchange or interchange or um of ideas or thoughts or yeah, or what did you think about this or what it was? And which we don't blame the church either because the way that they're not. Well, you know, churches choose to be the way they are. So it's not that I don't blame the church, it's just that any church could do that if they chose. Well they all choose to be able to. I mean, you know, uh you might, but uh some have five-hour church services anyway. Some faiths do. And there's still not a clear exchange of, you know, not only talking about the struggles in your life and the victories in your life, but how those interplay and and how we can support each other really doesn't get offered. Now they can say, they'll say, well, that's for the book study, or that's for the this group or that group. But if you don't go to those groups, then church is your only thing, and it's it's come, be quiet, and go on. You know, come sit quietly and then sing if you want, and then head out. And so, you know, here for that two hours where Brad's kind of leading us through, everyone has the opportunity to invoke any thought, idea, experience they want to. Right. And those are always the days that we're like, wow, that was a crazy night, because people opened up. And what led to it was again, the the initial part was some discussion, biblical discussion that broke into a discussion of, well, this is how, you know, I want to tell you guys about me and my wife, or you know, my kids are questioning this, or whatever it might be. So that's something that I think the old church, the original church, would have had. It was a small enough group, they ate together, they spent time together, and they could share lives together. Where at the at the building church, there's just not a lot of that. And uh you can change anything. You can't be can't do everything in an hour and a half, but we do in two hours what never gets done at church, and so that's why for me, you know, I try to make, I probably make, if there's 52 weeks, I probably make 40 of them. And 12 I don't. And but those 40 weeks are always different, unique, but I can count on it being real. And I can count on hearing seeing and hearing something during this during our exchange that's gonna make me my faith stronger, my tolerance of people stronger, my understanding of what goes on behind closed doors in people's houses and how they're similar or different than mine. It's just there's so much contrast and so much similarity that those discussions are really what make me, you know, hearing hearing Romans and going through it verse by verse, you can do that at home. Right. It's the stop after every sentence and have a discussion about that really makes church here something that you take home and you can remember what somebody said for, you know, like you said, you can remember sometimes you can't tell whose voice it is.

SPEAKER_02 5:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:21

But there are guys that look burly and strong that break down quickly. Yeah. And there's other guys that sit there and have been at our group for a year and rarely say anything. But that doesn't mean they're not listening and contributing, that just means that they're taking it all in. And part of it's their personality. And maybe they're not yet at a comfort zone to share something because they might concern that, but given what we've all tried to share in our personal witnesses, is the raw truth, you know, just raw life.

SPEAKER_03 5:55

Right, you don't get that in a church building. You're never never gonna get it.

SPEAKER_01 5:59

And people would be offended if someone did open up. Yeah, and that's the sad thing, is church is really an opportunity as community to open up and share the similarities and the differences. Yeah, and I think that's why a lot of churches are I can glean hope from you, and I can glean trust from Todd, and I can understand my relationship with my wife better, hearing what Christ has to say about his marriage. So those things are missed when it's just an overview and out the door.

SPEAKER_03 6:27

Yeah, well, that's why a lot of churches nowadays they encourage small groups. So you can grow in small groups and get to know one another.

SPEAKER_01 6:36

So that's that that's an interesting part, though, is you know, we gotta do small groups because we aren't really doing what anybody we're not advancing anyone's uh you know. We're not growing anybody, right? We're not growing anybody, we've got to do it in small groups. So we got 20 to 30 guys that do it every week.

SPEAKER_02 6:54

And uh well, and you know what's been interesting for me, and I and especially when I got stuck in California with the with the infection, is that's four o'clock. My day at four o'clock is different than my day at seven o'clock. And so I don't pro I could tell you honestly, I don't process the same way at noon that I process at four that I processed. Sure, I did that, yeah. That I process before I go to bed. So it was tougher when I was in California than when I went in when I was in Arizona when there was a one-hour time difference. Now those two are the same. Right. But it's still three hours different for me, but two hours different than this. And if you're at my house, you know where you when we I don't think we made a wrong turn, but we went out one way. Yes, on one side is eastern time zone, the other side is central time zone. So I could literally stand in two time zones at the same time. And I've missed a lot of things because am I in California? I mean, there was a point in time where I didn't know where my writing stuff was because I couldn't figure out what house I was in. You know, you wake up somewhere, or with all that's been going on in my house lately, I heard something in the last week that I've never heard. My wife swore and she said, God, how have I failed you? Because she's taking all this stuff that's going on with her son that texted her on Mother's Day that you no longer have a son, you have another daughter, and then that just repped up that whole day. And then, you know, there's people that know us because we're from a small town and her past relationship as a disgraced former city councilman who shared dick pics with a black alderman, Ebony and Ivory. So people in town fight to see who can send us that stuff first, and they don't understand how much turmoil it causes. But I saw this thing with her son before, and I couldn't say anything to her because I know it would break her heart.

SPEAKER_01 8:52

Transitioning you could sense what's going on before.

SPEAKER_02 8:55

No, I saw somebody sent me a picture of him as a woman as a woman. And then when she found out a couple days ago that he's doing he's been doing hormone replacement for nine months, she couldn't speak. Yeah. And then the next day, seven or eight pictures showed up on the internet. So now this kid has a good job.

SPEAKER_04 9:15

So let me ask you a question. But I've heard her talking to God. With with what you've never learned, and what you've heard, did you try to say, hey, you know what, Kamir Han, let's pray? And did you try praying over her or no?

SPEAKER_02 9:32

Yeah, and that's why she jumped out of the car. She thought I was pushing it too far. I'm like, Maureen, it's still your child. We need to support in any way, shape we can. We need to pray about it. Like when we do our prayers, it's individual prayers. We very rarely, unless we're going on a trip, pray together. And she was so mad that I was pushing it, pushing it, pushing it, that on 80, she said, Stop the car, I'm getting out right now. I'm like, I am not stopping on this road and letting you out of this car. But so when I was going slower on the Grange Road, making it left on 179, she it was just easy for her to open the door and jump out.

SPEAKER_04 10:13

I would I would encourage you to do it like tonight, when you go back home, just say, hey, you know what? I'd like to start praying with you. It it's not an easy thing to do initially, but once you do it, it's it almost starts to become automatic. And that's the one thing that I can tell you that I I know has helped our relationship is praying together. And initially it's hard, I think, like anything else is sometimes to take that first step because of the fear of the unknown. But if you started to do that, then just my thought is that she'd be more willing to do that in those circumstances then as well.

SPEAKER_02 11:04

And change your routine. Like she does her quiet time in the morning, I do mine at night. Find a common ground, or you know, now that it's summer, she works four days a week.

SPEAKER_03 11:15

So she can still have her quiet time, yeah. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 11:18

And I could have mine, but we should have a what Todd is saying is let's have some time together.

SPEAKER_04 11:22

Well, especially if she's not having kids in the house, too.

SPEAKER_02 11:26

Yeah, well, she yeah. I mean, you know one of these days I will grow up and she won't say, I've got I've got a 65-year-old kid at my house. Well, that's a great suggestion, Todd. And and I I think maybe she would be open to it. Um yesterday when I got back, uh, she was still in her pajamas, and I said, What's going on? She said, I'm cooking with gas. I said, What'd you do? She said, Oh, I got all the vendor stuff done, I got this done, I got this done, and I wrote a letter to my daughter. And I'm thinking to myself, okay, you already wrote a five-pager to the son that's going to become a daughter. Now her favorite kid who I miss since she's a strange, you know, since we're strange. She said, I want you to read this. And I got through the third to the third paragraph and I was balling like a baby because I miss that kid, but it's in a different way than she misses that kid. And that one just had a baby. So we've had five new grandkids in six months that we might not see for a while. And I know that is hitting her at the cold heartbreaking.

SPEAKER_03 12:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:34

But so, I mean, so she went back on the we have a porch, uh porch, and I was in my uh my comb each year, and she was working on something for that, and I was working on a project I'm working on in Connecticut. And about midnight, she said, I think we should go to bed. And I said, Well, let's talk about I I did kind of I didn't say let's pray about it. I said, let's talk about what what's happened today because I I don't want I want you to go in there, I want to be able to, you know, I do I come this way, I do this to help her fall asleep or the top of her head, but it also helps me. And I can tell when I rub if she's ready to go to bed or not, just by how tense or how loose she is. And if I really want to know if she's gonna fall asleep, I can do this little thumb thing right back here. Well, last night we're talking, and I pulled a Maureen. I fell asleep on her while she was talking. So when we got up this morning, she said, Well, what I was trying to tell you last night was, and it was about it was about allowing herself herself some grace because she's really beaten herself up over this and it's it's taken a toll.

SPEAKER_04 13:44

But that's where you know I'm I'm my thought is is that it's our job as as the leaders of the house. Yeah, as males to be the leaders of the house. And once you once you start doing those things, I think that they fall in line, and then when they see the change in us, because I'm seeing a lot of like change in my wife right now, and when you start to see it, you want to be around them, and you want to like I want to do, I want to outdo what she's outdoing, and and you know, get to that relationship that I think we all have dreamt about. And um, but I I think that if you start with the little thing of praying, which actually is a big thing together, yeah, I think that it will help moving forward your guys' communication and relationship.

SPEAKER_02 14:43

And as far as that whole Steve Martin Man of the House thing, it ain't me. It's never gonna be me, no matter how hard I try, because the position she's taken to get herself out of her previous relationship is to be the dominant one. Well, it's nothing. And it's her tone sometimes. Like I was telling John, her her voice lately sounds like nails on a chalkboard to me. Because it's a tone that she doesn't recognize because for the last eight years of her marriage, that's how she survived.

SPEAKER_04 15:14

Well, and that's also how I was, and I had it pointed out to me by Bob, you know, and and that's what I I cherish about our relationships as well, is that you know, we're candid and we're honest with each other, and we all know that we aren't doing it to each other to hurt each other, we're in it to help each other. Yeah, and so you've got to take it as constructive criticism, and if you don't, you lose.

SPEAKER_02 15:41

Goes back to that double-edged sword, though. You know, there's times, uh maybe not for you guys, but for me, I'm walking on eggshells because I know if I do something that's gonna stick a finger in that wound that I don't know exists, I lose her for three or four days. But also if you do nothing, you could lose her too, right? Well, so you're you know There's never a time when I do nothing.

SPEAKER_04 16:03

There's a time when I ignore she's gotta see a change in you, and when she sees that change in you, then she's gonna want to change herself and and be along that that same route. As a leader, you lead her and you pray with her, then ultimately you're gonna be able to pray with her about anything. Right. And at any time, usually, and then ultimately when she sees the confidence that that you have and the calm and the peace that you have.

SPEAKER_03 16:32

No judgment.

SPEAKER_04 16:34

Then ultimately judgment disappears. Well, and then ultimately, hopefully, she gets that peace. Because it right now it doesn't sound like there is any peace.

SPEAKER_01 16:43

Well, and you're not fixing her, you're letting Christ fix it. Yes, is the difference. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 16:47

Well, I I think she does see a difference in the fact that I'm and maybe if afraid's not the right word, I don't write about it, but I'm the guy that leads the prayer at Lions Club, I'm the guy that leads the parrot prayer at the dinners, I'm the guy, and she will say after, you know, that was really good tonight, and you, you know, how you because I I try to make sure I never was really good at reading a room before of different people. This one's easy, even though it's eight or nine churches. This is an easy read because we all have a couple of things in common. When you go to the Methodist church for that dinner, you don't have that. When you go to Lions Club, you don't have that. So I've I've really worked hard in my praying for the people harder than I work for myself. And I know that when we pray before a trip, it's always like in the movies, like you hear that music. Or like when you walk into somewhere the first time and you're like, wow. And that's so different than the time we take apart that maybe from here on out, not just because of the Jessica, but we're just we're getting ready to go on a trip. So that could be the first day of or the third day of us praying regularly together. And it I would hope that would help me as much as I think it would help her. It will. Because there's things that like she likes the fact that I write better than I speak because it's easier.

SPEAKER_04 18:29

Well, maybe we should have had you just write for the podcast then and then you could have just read it.

SPEAKER_02 18:33

Exactly. And and and I say that because we don't give each other gifts anymore at Christmas. We write each other a letter. Oh, that's nice, though. And it takes a lot of time. I mean, I I start mine at on her birthday, June 30th. Like I write my notes so that when I get to three days before Christmas or December 3rd, like I did last on my birthday last year, that I I want her to feel me talking to her when she reads it.

SPEAKER_03 19:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:06

And I think that's what happens when we pray before a trip. We can feel each other. If we're staying her side of the house, my side of the house, she's in the morning, I'm at night, there's no feel. You don't you don't get that feeling. For sure. And I've never felt that she has not had my back, but there's times when she feels I haven't. Even though in my mind I've done everything to to have her back, it's just perception of that it brings up an old what happened.

SPEAKER_01 19:42

It used to be in feeling. Yeah, it used to be alone. I'm no longer alone, no better alone than I was then. And it's not true, but she just puts herself in that mindset. Right.

SPEAKER_03 19:52

Well, guys, I hate to cut it short, but we are running out of time here. Uh we just need to wrap up. Craig, thank you so much for for being here and taking the time with us. Uh let's let Craig Crows. All right.

SPEAKER_02 20:02

Heavenly Father, thank you for this time. Thank you for the fellowship. Thank you for uh the invitation to sit before you and uh share in your love and your joy and your happiness for us. Uh tonight we're going into group, the first time in a long time for me alive. I want to just absorb everybody's energy and everybody's love and enjoy myself this evening. Um in your name we pray. Amen.

SPEAKER_03 20:29

Thanks for being here. Let's do it again sometime. Absolutely. All right, well, thanks for having me. Yeah, thank you again. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:36

Um thank you for listening to Anchormen Anchored by Gray.